


A Very Valar Christmas

by AllonsyMiddleEarth



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-04
Updated: 2014-06-04
Packaged: 2018-02-03 08:13:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1737581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllonsyMiddleEarth/pseuds/AllonsyMiddleEarth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Melkor stirs things up, everything gets set on fire, and Yavanna really doesn’t have a great Christmas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Very Valar Christmas

Every year the Valar gather at Taniquetil for a couple days of mid-winter festivities, which are always full of drama and hilarious happenings, no matter how hard Manwë and Varda try to host a peaceful Christmas.   
  
They all have separate celebrations with their Maiar for mid-winter, and it’s a huge honor for a Maia to get invited to the Valar’s celebration, even just to serve. So this spurs  _tons_ of Maiar gossip about the various happenings there.  
  
In the early days, Melkor would crash the party and insist they all be nice to him because “It’s Christmas!” so they begrudgingly would, because Manwë urged them to.

On Christmas Eve, Estë would insist they all get a proper amount of rest before waking up early the next morning, and Irmo would give everyone visions of sugarplum fairies or whatever other Christmas themed thing he fancied that year.   
  
In the morning they all gather by Yavanna’s giant tree (brought in with roots intact so she can plant it again later) and open presents. Vána amuses herself by growing mistletoe above pairs of people during the present opening to see if she can get them all to kiss.  
  
It’s been centuries and everyone has rooms full of things already, like expensive gifts made by Aulë and beautiful things woven by Vairë, or seashell jewelry made by Ulmo in which one truly can hear echoes of the sea, but everyone always insists on giving gifts somewhat related to their craft. At least Vána’s flowers you can always plant and let grow on their own, and Yavanna’s fruits are eaten before they need to be stored.   
  
Melkor alternates between giving really crappy gifts to spite everyone and giving really incredible gifts to outdo everyone else. This year, it was crappy gifts. He gave Manwë a bottle of wine with bits of mold in it, he gave Varda coal, and he gave Yavanna a dead flower. Manwë had previously requested they not retaliate to these kinds of gifts, but when he left for a moment to check on the cooking, Yavanna smugly brought the flower back to life and gave it roots, Aulë molded the coal to hold a candle and gave it holes for the light to shine through, giving it the appearance of a night sky, and Tulkas smashed Manwë’s bottle of wine over Melkor’s head while Melkor was busy glaring at Yavanna.

 Manwë always does all the cooking and won’t trust anyone else in the kitchen, except Varda. (For good reason, because Tulkas and Oromë had a fight in the kitchen one year and set everything on fire. Ulmo was busy for quite a while putting it out.)

Nienna is sorrowful over something so Varda (as perfect hostess) and Nienna’s brothers are exceedingly nice and happy to her to try to cheer her up at least for the day. (Mandos attempts this by telling her predictions of  _good_ things for once, not just Doom.) Estë sings to her to try to cheer her up and calm her down, and Nessa dances to put on a show for everyone.   
  
Melkor is jealous that Nessa is the center of attention so he tries to outdo her and fails miserably, which makes him horribly angry, so he starts setting the room on fire. Ulmo puts it out quickly enough, but it has already burned through the giant evergreen tree’s roots. Yavanna is screaming furiously for Melkor to be thrown out for hurting her tree, and Manwë has to try to calm her down and convince her it can be healed.  
  
Aulë is tired of all the drama so he breaks out the ale and mead, and Irmo joins him with his various smoking herbs. Mandos is assigned the task of keeping Melkor out of any more trouble until Manwë can get dinner on the table, so he sits down and glares unblinkingly at Melkor, while Vairë sits beside him and starts re-weaving what she had started before Melkor burned it to a crisp.  
  
At dinner Oromë starts bragging about how he hunted the boar or pig or both, or whatever meat they were eating, and Yavanna gets upset again and refuses to touch anything but the fruits and the bread.  
  
Melkor makes some comment about how it’s already dead anyway so she might as well eat it, and when she all but bursts into tears Varda and Nienna have to try to calm her down again. She eventually forgives him a little, but only because it’s Christmas, and she is still going to try to retaliate. So is Aulë, who keeps throwing food at him when Manwë and Varda aren’t looking. Melkor enjoys this all greatly.  
  
Finally, Melkor spikes the punch and they all end up  _really_ drunk and make horrible decisions that they have to spend into the next year fixing, and it’s all just generally fantastic.


End file.
